Chemistry vs Compatibility: I Built a System for One and the Other Won Anyway
I built a system for one. The other one won anyway.
I had a spreadsheet. For dating. With scores. It filtered for compatibility, the stuff that's meant to last: shared values, same direction, easy conversation, lives that fit. I met someone who topped nearly every row. Two dates, both great. On paper, close to perfect. Then it died. The one thing my system couldn't score just wasn't there for her. The spark.
ReadDating Red Flags: How to Spot Them Like You're Hiring (Because You Are)
The best dating advice I ever got came from a hiring manual.
First date. She's great. Funny, sharp, you want to see her again. And you have no real clue whether this lasts or blows up by spring. Most advice hands you a checklist here. Ten red flags. Bad texter, plays games, whatever. Fine. But a list of warning signs only helps once the damage is already showing. By then you're attached, and attached people explain away everything. I didn't get the better method from a dating book. I got it from hiring people.
ReadWhy Do People Ghost on Dating Apps? The Brutal Truth Nobody Tells You
Spoiler: it's usually not about you. It's math.
You matched. You sent a message. Nothing came back. Or worse, she replied, it was actually going somewhere, and then she vanished mid-conversation. Either way, you did the thing we all do. Read it back. Looked for the mistake. Wondered what you said wrong. Stop. There probably wasn't a mistake.
ReadFinding Love Is As Easy As Finding the Cleanest Toilet in the Mall
The Secretary Problem of Dating: When to Stop Swiping
How do you know when to stop swiping and commit? There's actual maths for it — the secretary problem, explained with a mall toilet.
ReadTinder Was the Best Self-Help Book I Ever Read
10 months on Tinder. Still single. Best year of my life so far.
I signed up for Tinder 10 months ago. I more or less knew what I wanted. Nothing crazy. Just a simple girl. Fit. 28–35. Active. Ambitious, into self-growth. Shorter than me (the heels thing is real). Lives nearby. Smart, but not exhausting (I don't need a debate club in my kitchen, I just like a good conversation). Reads a book or two. Curious. Fine that I've got a kid. Attractive. And please, no esoterica.
ReadTinder Dates as Interviews, Math, and Black Swans
The framework worked perfectly. Until it didn't.
I used math to find love in Riga. Calculated the odds. Built a hiring framework. Treated first dates like screening interviews. Used the secretary problem to figure out exactly how many dates I needed before committing. The framework worked perfectly. Until it didn't.
ReadMore on the way